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Due to family stuff, I had to cancel my participation in a holiday fair in a month, and the other two I applied to passed on me. So I decided to put the holiday fair fee amount toward advertising, and for reasons that I can no longer remember, I went with a Facebook ad.

It better be worth it, because I spent three solid hours on this tonight. I’m dead now. This is my ghost typing this. The Great Beyond isn’t all that great, folks.

This is how my evening went:

9:30pm: Add a few new items to Etsy listings. Wish for a way to auto-post new listings to social media. Realize there’s probably something like that already.

9:40pm: Click on Marketing tab in Etsy dashboard. Notice social media option.

9:42pm: Link Etsy to Twitter. Slightly edit automatic text for post about Charlie Brown ornament. Notice option for posting to “Facebook Ads.”

9:43pm: Click on link to Facebook Ads. Facebook Ad Manager opens. Begin entering information for ad,

10:00pm: WTF is Facebook Pixel?

10:20pm: Start uploading pictures. Spend solid five minutes trying to remember where the hell I put the image of the rainbow circle of lavender wands.

10:26pm: Grumpily post about frustration to Slack channel with friends.

10:30pm: I have to have a Facebook Page for the business in order to place an ad?

11:15pm: Have created Facebook page, including an only marginally-successful attempt to create an email address for the store, because my stupid phone doesn’t get stupid text messages inside unless I’m in EXACTLY THE RIGHT SPOT.

11:27pm: How did it get this late already? Trying to upload pictures for ad. Why do I have to put in the same text three times?

11:45pm: Try to link stupid Facebook Pixel, which I still don’t get, to Etsy store. Options are to do it through third party (Etsy is not an option), put the code into my website (pretty sure Etsy doesn’t let me do that, at least not at my level of participation), or send to developer (HAHAHAHA LIKE I HAVE A DEVELOPER). Get lost in Facebook help pages, which are only slightly helpful. Here’s a tip: don’t use the term you’re defining in the definition.

11:50pm: Get stuck in circle of Etsy dashboard clicks. Realize can create Facebook ad through Etsy rather than through Facebook.

12:00am: Ad seems… significantly less complicated than the options in the FB Ad Manager indicate. Why couldn’t I set a budget? Why couldn’t I set a time frame?

12:15pm: Go back to Ad Manager. Click with increasing emphasis until somehow, mysteriously, it allows me to submit the original ad. I genuinely have no idea what I did or if I fixed anything.

12:20am: Cancel ad created through Etsy. No idea if other ad will actually work, as I never figured out the damn Facebook Pixel stuff.

12:25am: FB Page says I have two notifications. Cycle through all Notification categories on Page and cannot find notifications.

12:30am: Computer blue-screens.

1:00am: Decide to vent feelings through blog post.

In conclusion, buy my ornaments. I’m going to bed.