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A friend of mine sent me to this Random Superhero Generator and it is vastly entertaining.  Here are some of the ones I’ve come up with:

Elspeth has been known to sculpt and mold all plastic with a thought. Also, she is known for her spectacular ability to sense yak and she lords over a pattern of jackals. Elspeth is protected from damage by resilient skin and she is able to steal the weapons of her rivals and use it against them. She likewise brandishes a destructive arrangement of spines that can force foes to drop all possessions and she has a reputation for a miraculous agility. Elspeth has the power to take control of radiation and bend it to her will. Terribly, Elspeth becomes powerless in the presence of dust.

Dust is my kryptonite? This bodes ill for my career in special collections libraries…

Elspeth lords over a horde of owls. She can cause her assailants to become sticky and she has the power to take control of cold and bend it to her will. Elspeth wields a dangerous quarterstaff that can force opponents to run in fear, but this power only lasts six seconds at a time. Additionally, she is protected from damage by dust armor and she developed the talent to sculpt and mold all illusion with a thought. Terribly, Elspeth becomes horribly disfigured in the presence of rubber.

Oh dear…. I like the owls, but this six-seconds-at-a-time thing is a bit problematic. People don’t run very far in that amount of time.

Elspeth developed the talent to deflect deafening sounds. Also, she is able to make dwarves appear from nowhere and she has a reputation for an awesome strength. Elspeth has the power to communicate with ghosts in any language and she has mastered the ability to take control of weather and bend it to her will. Tragically, Elspeth becomes homeless in the presence of cloth.

Homeless in the presence of cloth?! So basically, if I want a home, I have to forgo clothing?  Though I like the idea of being able to make dwarves appear out of nowhere.

Elspeth can communicate with flies through a mental link. She has learned to make duplicates of herself and she has the ability to leap along ramps of silver using a legendary truck. Elspeth is able to launch javelins from her lasso toward any adversary close by, however doing so makes her partially paralyzed for two days. Additionally, she possesses the power to absorb the damage from heat and redirect it against any rival in sight and she wades into combat wielding a deadly cluster of claws, but only in darkness. Shamefully, Elspeth takes harm from exposure to steel.

Holy mackerel. That doesn’t sound so super.

Elspeth can read the memories of others. Also, she has been known to become camouflaged and she has learned to force vegetables into a deep sleep, but she must speak words of power to do so. Elspeth boasts a miraculous constitution. Terribly, Elspeth suffers from being terrible at tracking.

Yes, yes! This is the one I choose! (Vegetables sleep? Really?)

Post your super powers in the comments!